As with many success stories, we usually only get the highlight reel. How X built his million$ empire at 25. How Y dropped out of Uni to launch an $8-figure startup.
Very rarely does anyone want to talk about their failures, so I’m going to talk about mine.
Here are 3 unpopular lessons I learned from my own failures. Agree with me or not – if there’s anything to take away from this, it’s that I am not special. I mess up just like everyone else.
And it’s because of my imperfect self that makes me a perfect fit for the clients I help.
Lesson 1: Life mirrors business and business mirrors life.
This little nugget first hit me in the face a few years ago.
The underlying lesson? Fail at living your life, and it will bleed into your biz.
“How do you even fail at life?” You might ask.
Simple – if you’re not living it the way you want to.
For 11 years, I stayed stuck in a relationship that was going nowhere. For an entire decade, I put everyone else first – my loved ones, my significant other, and my business. And in the process, lost my self-worth and identity.
I gained 15kg (or more, maybe). I had many health problems, I was largely unhappy, and I didn’t even know it.
I consider this my biggest failure – that it took me a decade to pull myself from drowning in a sea of zero self-worth.
Traditional business teaches you to leave personal matters at the front door. But life doesn’t work that way. If your relationships to yourself and your loved ones are going downhill, this will eventually bleed into your business.
Life mirrors business, and business mirrors life.
So how did I fix this?
It started with recognizing the root of it all. I changed the unempowering belief that selfishness was ‘bad’ and that I had to put myself last.
I changed that into the belief that prioritizing my personal life enriches my business.
And so it has. My best ideas come after walking at the beach, doing nothing but looking at birds, having hot sex with my current SO, or binge-watching Netflix.
It’s time we stop separating life from business, and business from life, as if you need to be two different persons to be successful with either one.
“You are one you, and how you do life is how you do business.
– Jomie Casas
Lesson 2: Your Bucket List is the map to the real treasure you seek.
This might sound cryptic, but it really isn’t. Tick off your bucket list now. Don’t wait.
I put off travelling in my 20s, even when I became successful enough to afford it. I always thought “I’ll do it later, when my business reaches xx million. I’ll have time for that later. “
I ended up overweight, unhappy, under-sexed and generally unfulfilled. Even with a thriving $6-figure business.
By going for the once-in-a-lifetime experiences I wished for myself, I ended up creating a life and business that were previously out of my reach. What started as a few months’ travel, turned into a long-term travel lifestyle. What started as a desire for impact, turned into a business that has brought me so much joy and fulfillment.
“Ticking off your bucket list will show you the life you’re meant to live.“
Jomie Casas
So don’t wait for the money to come before ticking off your bucket list. Start it now. Do life now.
And if you find yourself thinking “Well, I need money for my dreams” I challenge you to think more creatively. It’s great practice for building a business:
What can I do with what I have, to get what I want?
Start with this question until doors open for you.
If you find yourself thinking, “Easy for you to say, you live a privileged life” then I challenge you to get out of your own way, and check that resentment. We’re all born with a little bit of privilege, in comparison to someone else. For me, it’s my education. For you, perhaps it’s the passport you carry, your un-divorced parents, the color of your skin, or the fact that you can even read this post.
So what do you do with that privilege?
Simple – don’t waste it.
I didn’t and don’t have unlimited resources, but I was smart. I simply took risks, and trusted myself to figure it out along the way.
Lesson 3: In the age of big data, remember to give credit to your intuition.
No matter what, always trust your gut. In this day and age of big data, no one really talks much about intuition anymore, in business, and what it really is.
But even billionaires and 8-figure entrepreneurs are quoted to trust their guts in running their businesses.
Strategies and tactics alone won’t make your business better all the time. So and so’s expert techniques aren’t the end-all be-all of business. You’re meant to take what exists and make it your own.
In a previous post, I shared how I ran my previous business solely on proven strategies and tactics from experts and mentors. It gave me success, but not the fulfillment I was looking for. I eventually burned out, even if I was working only a day a week.
In the same post, I also explained the yin and yang of intuition + action = informed flow.
So what is intuition, anyway?
Intuition is a muscle you can flex at will to make you seem like a “lucky person”.
Jomie Casas
Where really, all intuition means is running all the information, strategies, and tactics through your own personal filters and take the right action at the right time.
How do you know it’s right?
It feels right. It inspires you. It excites you. It makes you treat your business like a fun game. Think of the playfulness with which Richard Branson runs his business. Or Spanx’ Sara Blakely who never ran an ounce of paid marketing. Or Shark Tank’s Barbara Corcoran who’s always credited her intuition for the best business decisions.
Like a muscle, intuition just takes practice. Anyone can access it.
I personally got the most growth out of getting out of my head and trusting my gut, executing only on my own flavor of tactics and strategies, when I felt the pull to do so.
And this has made all the difference not just in my business, but in my life (life mirrors business, remember?):
After a decade of failing at life, I’ve ticked off more items on my bucket list in the last 3 years alone: I’ve found love again, I’m starting a family, I work with entrepreneurs I admire, and I’m on my way to another $6-figure business and later on to $7figures… All while travelling the world.
Trusting my intuition and coupling it with the necessary action, has made my reality more interesting.
These 3 lessons form the lens with which I view life and business. As I continue to fail and grow, both my life and biz just keep getting better.
